Such a moral dillema

So, since discovering this little corner of the Internet I can call my space again, I’ve been having this dilemma as to how to use it. I don’t want this to be a monetized platform where I write for you guys (creepy internet pedos stalking my personal blog) but rather, a way for me to write something and put it out onto the world for me.

Now, I know, how personal can it be if you’re putting it out onto the Internet? That is the question I am trying to tackle right at this moment. I mean, really I don’t expect total unloading of my emotions on here, because I have a journal for that. Since this started out as a blog on “My Life,” I don’t want to stray from that.

I started out talking about my interests, my emotions, and what I’m up to. Well, what I’m up to right now is YouTube. After being an admirer for so long, I started my own channel 4 months ago. Why I did it was to document my first year of college, but over the summer and the start of my college career, it evolved into a comedy vlog about whatever I’m feeling like talking about, whether it’s ideas, people, or even songs.

For a while, and even periodically now, I got depressed and discouraged at my lack of a following after my work ethic, but I think this slow growth is a beautiful thing to happen, where I can just grow and create content that attracts a nice community around it. I can already see some engagement from people, and I can’t say I’m not totally excited when I get a new notification. As I write this, I realize what a privileged problem it is to whine about not having a following. I am pathetic. And that is what allows me to create comedy content, I guess.

Today, actually, I feel like I learned two different things that will alter my video making process. These two things came from a stranger and a close personal friend:

So, I was eating lunch today at the Bruce Cafeteria when this Indian man asked if the table I sat was free to be shared. I didn’t object, and I got to meet him, Ishant, and his friend Neha. They were engineering grad students, and they were so interested in my time as a theater major, and what I want to do with my life. I asked them about Lilly Singh and they said they watched her when they are stressed with school. I told them about my YouTube channel, and Ishant subscribed, saying how amazing it is I already had 136 subs. I disagreed politely, as I was thinking of people like kirbyisaboss with 90K or people in the millions. But Ishant told me something that probably wasn’t as sage as I make it out to be: he said “Everything has a humble beginning.”

Maybe I’m being too Siddhartha Gautama about this, or maybe advice just sounds better said in archaic language in a foreign accent.

But the other was when I called my friend Mariana, in the pretense of wanting to find out if she thought I was funny in high school, but it evolved into my homesickness revealing itself. But the first thing she said was how even though I haven’t seen her or heard her voice, she sees me through my YouTube videos, and her and a couple of my other friends actually sometimes eat lunch together and watch my videos, discussing it afterwards. This is better than what I could ever have imagined my blog would be for. I intended it for me, but other people are taking ownership of the discussions I put out, and not just any people but my closest friends. That is just an amazing thing to find out, and helped refine the comedy content I put out there.

Hello. It’s me.

WOWEE.

This place is an artifact.

It’s funny. I’ve had multiple blogs, multiple accounts across all social media, and when I’m tired of who I am, I find that deleting them and starting all over is a way of escapism for me.

However, this little blog in this little corner of the internet has remained active through that. It’s amazing. And having been active this long, I don’t want to delete this blog and lose the artifact of who I was when I was 11.

I am 16-going-on-17 now and I am in college. I’m going through the chore and blessing of finding myself, and part of that is realizing that I’ve sort of escaped the chore by simply deleting and restarting. It’s what I’ve done, basically, throughout my moves across the world, and is the only reason I’ve escaped feelings of sadness and isolation. This wonderful idea of new beginnings is not always applicable in real life, however. I can’t simply disappear and come back without my previous self. I am present, and so has this blog been.

So what now? I’m going to add to this blog, and actually document my thoughts throughout my first year of college. I started making video blogs to do just that, but throughout 4 months, it has evolved to documenting my creativity more than my life. I don’t know, but I love/hate the process of creating comedy videos, hate in the sense of frustration when editing takes slower than I function. But yeah. I will add to this, and make this into an artifact that I will treasure in years to come as it currently is.

P.S. I am so tempted to say “Hello. It’s me.” Because Adele’s new song “Hello” just came out.

P.S.S. That is the title now.

Move to America

“Move to America, there are more opportunities there.” Ya right. I’m sure there is, but not here. The simple life is not for me.

2 (awsome) songs.

It is a song. A song from Hannah Montana the Movie, my fave movie.Very touching.

Another song.By Demi Lovato, a cool singer.

Tomorrow,tomorrow,I love you,tomorrow…..

you’re only a day away.  Tomorrow is my field trip. Tomorrow, oh boy! Come to me, tomorrow. I’m really excited! Too excited, to be exact. I can’t sleep!  I won’t sleep! Immmmmmm mmmmmeeeelllttttiiinnnggggg! Help meeeeeeee!

BTW is an iTouch cool, or is it not? I have none, but 3 of my acquaintances do. Lucky them. One even has 2!!!!! Spoiled little BRAT!

Comment, but please keep your bad thought  to yourself……

Bored.

Nothing to do. Bored,  bored, bored. Watch this

AWSOME!

When I grow up…..

Maybe…. when I grow up I’ll become a famous actor. Maybe, a doctor. Maybe a part time writer and illustrator…… I don’t know. I wonder……

Gone.

My stepdad went to America for one month, because my stepbro, Joseph, is graduating from high school. He took my laptop with.

Disturbing…..

This afternoon we went to a mall, and just as we were about to pay(we were at the groceries) I say a lip balm that said
”Labello
Men’s Lip Balm”
And something about it protects without shine.
I was surprised people invented that ”thing”, I mean, who needs it when you can buy the ordinary lip balm. The ordinary has different kinds like sunscreen for your lip, which is useful here in Qatar, a desert. That’s more useful than the ”Men’s” and it doesn’t shine, only a little bit when you put on a lot. And, I learned that girls like boys who take care of themselves and are not sloppy.

My little brother

This picture was taken 3 days after he was born.He was only 38 weeks when he decided to see the world Although he was born earlier than we expected, he turned out to be a healthy baby,He just need to stay in the NICU for 3 days for observation.

My mom  was discharged to the hospital one day earlier and just came back with my dad the following day to pick him up.

This picture was his first trip  going home.

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